blue

speaking of line breaks...

...i made another one. a blue one. in six days. with fingerless mitts to match. i was in a rush, and in my usual rabid acid speed monkey mode. it does wonders for my project knitting, but less for what my friend, who recently spent a fortune and flew 15 hours only to see me knit non-stop for six days, calls social life.

that's as much of an apology as you'll ever get out of me, and you all know it.

but let it also be known, and visually observed, how pretty the set turned out to be. garter is my friend, my lover, my well-behaving woolly poodle bitch. garter makes the asymmetric short-rows drape gorgeously and the eyelets pop out just right. and the mitts, while completely brainless in construction (hence no pattern), hug your hands with all their squishiness and provide extra warmth thanks to the interlocking rows.

channa modeled. because she's pretty and photogenic. thanks, channa, for being pretty and photogenic, and putting up with my art direction. i curse because i care.

the set's already found its way to its new owner back in finland - a very special person who reached a rather respectable milestone recently and greeted this unexpected form of postal gifting with much joy and gratitude. normally i don't do much gift knitting, because i'm such a selfish tit, but this time the exception was both justified and rewarding.

we might have started something here, and it terrifies me.

manly

a certain special point in the course of things has recently been reached.

the point where it has become evident that one person is fairly interested in creating fluffy knitted things, sparking a second person to express a shy and modest interest in acquiring one of said fluffy knitted things.

a short exchange of thoughts was carried out, mostly consisting of the first person pondering within and out loud whether or not the relationship between the two persons has gone far enough to actually sit down and create a fluffy knitted thing for the second person, since history does offer evidence that doing so is a sign of some level of commitment to which not all second persons are prepared to take part in; and the second person saying, "sure, cool".

and so, a manly man cowl was born.

five by five cowl by felicia lo

ravelry link

malabrigo sock & sweetgeorgia tough love sock (90g each / 5mm)

it is custom-tailored to his color preferences and style, and without the mohair strand the pattern calls for, because while he does make his living in the film industry, and judging by his tea tastes is a bit of a girl, he lacks the edward d. wood jr. type obsession with dressing up in actual fluff.

the cowl was very easy to make and, had the first person not been distracted by the second person in many devilish ways, would have been finished in a matter of hours. but, as things were, it took a bit more. the result is very pretty, though, and well worth all the effort and pondering.

rumour has it that he actually wears it, too, which makes the first person happy, as well as a bit embarrassed that she keeps referring to him as "a bit of a girl".

artisticky

somewhere between everything that has and has not been going on recently, there was summer, and yarn, and a shawl.

quill by jared flood

ravelry link

size gigantic

BT loft (220g / 3.5mm)

also there was a deep and profound sense of discomfort at being photographed - despite the many, many unspeakably dirty favors the photographing party was willing to offer in return of a single frame where eyes weren't crossed, tongues weren't out and/or breasts weren't flashed.

what can i say. there is something utterly disturbing about posing in front of a machine that has the full capacity to capture your soul and put it in a jar and sell it to the gypsies, all the while being bent into weird shapes and attempting to look as if you were too cool to care.

still - what a lovely, therapeutic knit, and what a lovely heathered colour, which, incidentally, was personally approved for this particular project by the lovely jared flood himself at vogue knitting in april.

sizewise it turned out to be more of a blanket than a shawl though, and as such has found its place less as an everyday accessory and more as a priceless sit-on-me-and-fucking-die type of chair cover.

but for one day it got to go out and be pretty, and artisticky, and pretty, and indeed it was, and things were good, and souls remained intact, and afterwards there was a bit of boobage, and that was lovely too.

loverly

by this time you should all be aware that when it comes to knitting, and reporting about knitting, i am not a here-and-now kind of a person. let's just say i'm very easily distracted.

so it shouldn't surprise you that i'm coming forth today with yet another FO that has been finished for ages. seven months sounds about right. although this time a lot of it really has to do with crappy cameras, which, i'm glad to tell you, have recently been replaced by awesome cameras. cameras capable of giving knitted things the vibrancy and depth they so thoroughly deserve.

lovely by melissa kwan

ravelry link

sweetgeorgia superwash dk (65g / 4mm)

it's a test knit for a cowl that was designed by my good friend, vigorous enabler, and cohort in all things yarn-related, melissa. she put the pattern together back in the winter and was brave enough to ask me to try it out (i say brave, because... well, all of the above). which i did, in two days, because i'm fast and awesome.

the cowl is the perfect one-skein project that doesn't take that much concentration, but won't bore you either. i used smaller needles, like i usually do, so the size came out a bit smaller than the pattern measurements. but since i like my cowls to be fairly close-fitting anyway, i can see how it could work even with fingering weight yarn. i can also appreciate the fact that the girly-girly heart motifs are balanced with rugged cables every now and then. i have my manliness to protect here, for god's sake.

so in short, it's a must-knit. go out and knit it, or else.*

in addition to all her yarn-related escapades, melissa periodically locks herself in a closet (literally - i've seen it) and sews project bags. she is too modest to believe it, but they are known throughout BC and beyond. so much so, in fact, that they don't even make it to her etsy shop before they're grabbed by knitters who notoriously hoard stuff and aren't afraid to use their elbows in the process (while being brain-burstingly, ever-smilingly passive-aggressive about it).

THESE ARE MINE SO BACK THE FUCK OFF, DEAR

but it just so happens that melissa is going to be a vendor at both fibrations and knit city (her first live appearances!) so this is your chance to have a look in person and get your own. act fast though, before some greedy skank buys them all. i'll be the one who's armed with zombie machetes and a pair of wolverine claws. what's your plan, bitch?

*or else what? exactly. 

unbroken

for those not familiar with what's truly imporant in life, the lady in the previous post was bette davis in now voyager (1942) and the letter (1940).

notice how she's ugly when she's weaving, frumpy when she's crocheting, and completely smokin' hot when she's knitting.

the defence rests.

in other news, here's a shawl i made. the boy took the pictures. he made me look all girly and pretty (i'm wearing a dress, for god's sake) and afterwards we went back home and had hot perverted sex chocolate milk until dawn. as some consenting adults choose to do.

line break by veera

ravelry link

madelinetosh tosh merino light (160g / 3mm)

to be fair the shawl has been finished since april. but i can't keep up with all the stuff that happens anymore. there's just so little time, and so much chocolate milk to be had.

mysteriously, at the same time, i've had to cut down work hours as well as knitting hours, because my retarded body won't keep up either. i'm 28 and so, so broken. i have hip pains, joint pains, back pains, nerve pains, horrible eyesight, thinning hair and a general sense of an expiration date long since passed, notably manifested in the 13 different medications i've stooped down to taking daily.

but as god, bob and all other deities know, it takes a shitload more than that to break my spirit. in fact, i dare you, I DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, TO SAY 'WHAT' ONE MORE--

yes. the shawl.

indeed it is.

even at the risk of sounding unacceptably exhilarated, it's a divinely perfect combination of yarn, texture, shape and colour that enamors me and positively sweeps me off my feet every time i wear it - and apparently others too (hi becca - no you can't have this one, make your own bloody shawl!). making it was pure bliss from start to finish and taking it off the needles literally hurt my insides and made a part of me die - much like childbirth (episiotomy, anyone?), and indeed this furry piece of red cloth is my baby, probably more so than any actual human being will ever be.

i wanted it to be a bit smaller than the original sample, so i used 3mm needles instead of the suggested 4's. the size turned out just right. it's big enough to wear as a wrap, but small enough to tie around the neck. the tighter gauge makes it a bit warmer too.

not that additional warmth has been necessary here lately. we are now officially at day 35 of the epic nonstop heat wave of 2013 (it hasn't rained in five weeks, and i can smell it). but hot weather makes for pretty pictures, and also melts some of the permafrost of my cold, icy heart.

the spiders get fucking huge though. where the hell is the DDT?

hi mom

you made me. that was a fairly awesome thing to do.

i know i've been the retarded black sheep of the family sometimes. made you lose your shit and caused you lots of worries and heartache when you deserved none.

sorry about all that.

and now i'm 5000 miles away and haven't seen you in six months. life is good here, but not being able to hug you and say thank you and have farting contests with you sucks donkey balls.

i really really miss you.

back in the winter i saw this lovely merino-silk fibre at work that reminded me of you. i was only just learning to spin with a wheel, but fearlessly i sat down every night after work anyway for a month to spin a skein of yarn. my first full skein of yarn, in fact.

after ogling the finished 500-yard skein for a good week or so it seemed only fair that you should get the very first thing i've ever knit with my own handspun, and so i started knitting you a shawl. the pattern is the same 22.5 degrees one i used to make my own shawl for TNNA.

towards the end i managed to run out of yarn for the scalloped edging, so i dyed some more fibre at work. not being very smart i added soap to the dyestock, and the fibre got felted. but being very persistent i spun it anyway, even though every second felt like a good old prison-style ass ramming (as you know i'm quite fine being gross).

and this is how it turned out.

it's soft and shiny and lovely and for some reason it's perfectly stripey too -- i can't say that was intentional, since i just split the fibre into two bobbins and plied them without any colour planning whatsoever, but i'm willing to accept all of your oohs and aahs anyway.

i hope you like it. i love you and miss you and one day i'll be back and we'll have us some good stinky times again.

nonchalant

so we went to the TNNA winter show last weekend.

i love how casually that rolls from the tongue.

just flew down to long beach, hung out with madelinetosh, took a dump at the stall next to beth casey, you know, the usual stuff.

with some delightful food-baby-walking-dead marathons scattered in between

for that completely nonchalant occasion i made two cowls and a scarf, all in company yarns, because i figured it would make me look even more professional than i falsely think i am.

the first one's a highly classified test knit which i cannot explicate further at this time. it's a cowl, and it's green. that's all.

the next two i cranked out in five days prior to leaving for the show. during those five days i also worked full time as well as moved my ever-increasing earthly belongings to a new apartment, so i suppose it's safe to say i'm pretty fuckin' fast. not that i'm one to brag (although i totally am).

22.5 degrees by martina behm

ravelry link

sweetgeorgia cashluxe fine (111g / 3mm)

cabernet cowl by monika sirna

ravelry link

sweetgeorgia cashluxe fine (54g / 3.5mm)

pretty things, aren't they?*

*the question above is not a rhetorical one and only has one correct answer

northern non-summer

i'm back. sort of.

inspired by fellow bloggers, and encouraged by my employer-turned-mentor, i've decided that when it comes to presenting finished knits, even super duper late is better than not at all. you may direct any objections to that brick wall over there.

so in the following days, or weeks, realistically speaking--which we always are--you will see some very very random posts about stuff i've made. mostly from last year, because since moving to canada i seem to have caught a really sturdy case of i'm-just-gonna-wind-this-yarn-and-knit-a-few-rows-then-move-one-to-something-else-hence-the-pile-of-eleven-simultaneous-WIPs, and haven't been able to finish much stuff.

to start things off, this here is a shawl i made.. last... spring.

northern summer shawl by jo kelly

ravelry link

wollmeise pure in olio vergine (170g / 3.5mm)

i know it was spring because i was watching the ice hockey world champs on TV (we lost) while working on the lace edging. you know, the type of edging where you're effectively binding off exactly one edge stitch for every two rows of lace? sheesh, omg, lol. i thought it would never end.

i also remember going completely berserk when someone interrupted me on one of the last chart repeats, causing me to lose track and having to frog back at least 15 rows. with all due respect to my family, friends and the entire humankind: which part of this concentrated, constipated look on my face when i'm knitting lace does not scream "DO NOT FUCKING SPEAK TO ME RIGHT NOW PLEASE THANK YOU" to you?

i just don't like to be interrupted, is all.

i also also remember that i ran out of yarn with just two chart repeats left. i'm not gonna go over the details of that gruesome episode because it hurts too much. but i somehow managed to find a lovely generous person willing to part with her leftover yarn from the same wollmeise update (!), so i was able to finish the edging a couple of days later.

the pattern had some pretty significant errors here and there, but i trudged through anyway and i think the finished shawl looks fine. there's enough weight there to make it drape nicely and prevent the edges from curling, which is the sole reason most of my scarves and shawls are plain garter stitch. so in this case the yarn works--so much so, in fact, that this was one of only three hand-knit scarves that got to accompany me to canada.

(notice the decidedly un-springy scenery in the photos above. they were taken in mid-november, because for the actual northern summer i was locked up in the cave of fluorescent lights and windows facing a concrete wall that was my previous workplace. many thanks to miss R for helping out anyway.)

but the more i've worked with wollmeise the less i'm liking the base yarn--OMG SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT--because the plying really really puts me off. an 8-ply fingering-weight yarn? are you fucking serious? yeah and we'll make the plies really loose too, so that we're effectively taking out all the luxurious squishyness of merino and replacing it with these lifeless little straws of fibre that split and fray like a mofo and completely disintegrate when drawing from a center-pull ball. why, in short we've taken a luxurious merino and turned it into something that resembles cheap cotton.

i really really want to like the yarn, because the colors are so amazingly vibrant. but i think my wollmeise hoarding days are over. surely it can only mean that my taste in yarns is becoming more and more refined? and surely that's only a good thing?

him & me

what a ridiculously perfect pairing, this hitchhiker fellow and me. he's fast enough to keep me interested, simple enough to make me feel special by comparison, and pretty enough to maintain perpetual heat in my nether regions.

hitchhiker by martina behm

ravelry link

size awesome

handu 100% merinovilla (100g / 3mm)

i suppose he thinks highly of me too. assuming that an inanimate object cares. i like to think they do, because it gives me a sense of self-appreciation and worth. i'm queen fluffalot, remember?

with my royal guardian ponies and goats.

i love being me.

march of the sinister knits

well the crochet thing is off. having trudged through 400 meters of yarn in one sitting (with this lovely shawl in mind) i somehow just went "meh" and moved on. the construction and shape didn't feel right. or maybe the butch trucker lesbian side of me's just not ready for pink lace. how sweet is the taste of giving up.

but i do have something to show you instead. throughout the spring i've made lots of stuff which i haven't had the time to present here, due to an unexpected and outrageous lack of spare time. being currently sick with flu offers a welcome break to do some blogging as well as the inevitable jurassic park marathon.

and so, a terribly long and incoherent cavalcade of finished knits follows.

seasons by jared flood

ravelry link

size 3

brooklyn tweed loft (70g / 3 & 3.5mm)

i got the brooklyn tweed seasons kit as soon as they went on sale back in march or something. i just had to get my hands on that loft yarn. (it's totally hot, by the way.) my colorwork is rather, um, amateurish, but the colors themselves are heathered enough to cover up a lot of my inability to comprehend the concept of "color domination".

the hat was a little snug when finished, so i wanted to block it to a nice generous slouchy look. a delightful little encounter ensued at a local department store, where i just happened to walk past the flower section with some completely unrelated business in mind, and saw a white flower pot that, when turned upside down, just caught my eye as the most perfect hat blocking device ever. so i took it to the counter and asked the girl what the circumference was.

"the diameter's 19 centimeters," she said. "no no, i need to know the circumference," i replied and made her look at me like she couldn't understand the words i was vomiting out. i was then forced to explain how this particular pot seemed the perfect size to aid me in wet-stretching a knitted garment which i couldn't pin down and flat-dry because i didn't want the side creases and how the pot needed to be between 60 and 65 centimeters because my head is 58 and i liked my hats a little loose, and i just needed to be sure about the pot size before i bought it.

she was probably lost at "wet-stretching".

but in eerie silence she took out a measuring tape anyway and announced that the circumference is 62 centimeters, to which i responded with some joyous hand-clapping, to which she in turn responded with a look as if i was actually intending to use the pot in some completely different affair, possibly relating to eating babies and/or having sex with leather-clad muppets.

just imagine what a girl can do with a pot like this

but i took it home anyway and blocked the hat, and it's perfect. never mind the fact that i'm probably on some stockmann persona non grata list now.

"i never should've fallen for that muppet"

speaking of hats, back when it was -25C outside i made me a wurm to keep my precious, precious ears warm with its double-layered edge. the size was perfect at first, but after blocking and in use the yarn got all droopy to the point where it's almost too slouchy. so next time i'll be making a smaller size.

wurm by katharina nopp

ravelry link

size biggiest

lana grossa cool wool merino (70g / 4mm)

then i made two of these ruffle necklaces, one for me and one for a friend for her birthday. i had to adjust the pattern a little because following the chart i couldn't get the edges symmetric.

ruffle bib necklace by stefanie fail

ravelry link

mayflower cotton 8 big (25g / 3.5mm)

mine totally look better than the originals, by the way.

then there's a couple of socks i made as presents for some nice people who are working hard to relieve me of my family curse of hideously crooked teeth. yes, i should've gotten them fixed back in the 90s. yes, i'm a 27-year-old with braces. no, i'm not very smart. but just a couple more months and i'll be stunning. yeah. take that.

a girl at work, a.k.a. miss R, a.k.a. my partner in crime in all yarn-related mischief (no it's not an oxymoron) taught me broomstick lace because, as it turns out, i'm not inherently the ultimate master of all knittingy and crochety bits. so with this newly-acquired skill i made some bracelets. they make me look all pretty. and cool.

the yarn's schachenmayr catania in various colors and there's 10 repeats in each. one bracelet took maybe 5 grams.

and finally i made another shallows, this time with some egyptian cotton and one less chart repeat so it sits a little snugger. also i took a crappy photo of it with a warped perspective, distorted colors and dismal white balance. it's all part of the process.

there. i'm all puffed out now. i shall be dreaming about jeff goldblum tonight.

spring, snooker & shallows

it's the time of year again when men put on their bow ties and shiny leather shoes and gather up to poke their polished balls into some deep velvety holes, bending over backwards to get the position just right, crafting every thrust with precision only attainable through years of practice. for characters like "the rocket" and "the captain" failing or running out of steam is not an option. they will pound through 35 rounds of sheer sweaty excitement to see who's boss and who's.. well, the bitch.

i'm just gonna end this retarded analogy now.

turns out watching snooker and knitting makes even the douchiest life infinitely more tolerable. that and getting some global-ass support from people who are under no obligation to even care. so i thank you all in the most non-clever and non-sarcastic way i know how.

and now back to some actual knitting.

i don't have much to say about this cowl though, except that it's utterly, utterly sweet and awesome. it drapes exactly as i wanted and i dare say the color suits me, sir. i wouldn't have said that a year ago, but as it happens i've recently matured and can now wear whatever the hell i want.

shallows by bonnie sennott

ravelry link

size 15 x 114 cm

madelinetosh tosh merino light (70g / 3.5mm)

and spring's here too, that belated bastard. i've always figured you can't really truly appreciate spring unless you've clawed your way through seven months of winter first. the first day you go out and the wind doesn't slaughter you like some cosmic chainsaw, when it actually caresses you instead of withering away your last remaining breath of hope, that's when you feel alive again.

and you skip along, humming as you go, squinting at the piercing rays of light and greeting every bird and bug and blob of color like you've just got out from the cave from the descent, and happily ignore the fact that approximately four months later some creepy bearded woodsman will yank you right back down again and throw you at the mercy of the drooling albino monsters your fellow men have become because of their chronic deprivation of sunlight, human compassion and dental hygiene.

pictured: me. yesterday morning.

but until then you're sort of, kind of, fine. and baby, it feels good.

mr. freeze

it seemed like such a good idea. photographing the latest FO outside. after all, it was only -26C. surely a finn, accustomed from birth to living in the dark and wrestling polar bears while dousing herself with whale blubber, is perfectly capable of enduring such temperatures. surely?

gyllis by stephen west

ravelry link

size kinda perfect

sweet georgia tough love (100g / 3.5mm)

at first it was all good. the perfect branches were found, and the lighting was just right too. what a gorgeous setting for such a gorgeous piece of work, made from a pattern by the gorgeous stephen west, and with the yarn the equally gorgeous miss melissa benevolently donated me some weeks ago.

however, after approximately seven minutes the amount of physical pain inflicted by the freezing windchill despite the 14 layers of clothing surpassed the will to live get the perfect shots. it was now a death battle for getting any shots at all. gods were renounced, fingers were lost.

not pictured: please god let me die

at which point the artist said "fuck this" and went back inside.

self-promotion sunday

in between my scheduled weekly "me first" time, a.k.a. sunday that's entirely reserved for my own nihilistic needs which somehow always seems to mean changing bedsheets, putting my hair up in odd-looking buns and drinking tea in complete silence, i'm bringing you an important news bulletin.

i've just added lots of stuff to the etsy shop, so go take a look. new prices and all!

also i forgot to show you this earlier. a little quickie i finished a while back.

boreal by milja uimonen

ravelry link

rowan purelife renew (100g / 7mm)

certain people at work dared me to buy this yarn and so i did, because when it comes to yarn i have no self-control. you know it as well as i do. it's not the worst yarn one could be dooped into buying, though. it looks and feels pretty good and it's surprisingly soft, but the polyamid content makes my hair stand up. literally. but of course the recycled wool part makes up for any such cosmic deficiencies.

i'd had my eye on this pattern for a while but couldn't figure out what yarn to knit it with. i had other bulky weight yarns in my stash but once i brought the renews home i wanted to try them out right away. too bad it's the tweediest yarn ever that completely overshadows the textured intricacies of the pattern. oh well. it's a great piece for work anyway. i'll probably redo it with something more solid that drapes better too later on.

apologies for the shitty pictures though. again. one day the sun will come up again and we shall all live like kings.

i will now go back and turn off all the lights and enjoy the rest of me-day. in silence.

metal on metal

let me tell you about my brother.

he's kind. he's pretty. he takes me to heavy metal gigs and refuses to let me pay for anything. in fact, he's just so freakin' awesome that it transcends all of my usual pseudo-witty commentary. so without any further gimmicky introduction i'm just gonna blurt it out that he wanted a grey chunky modern-looking scarf, and i made him one.

anvil scarf by me

ravelry link

size 17 x 160cm

lana grossa alta moda cashmere (150g / 6mm)

the name comes from the kick-ass documentary anvil! the story of anvil which served as some sort of inspiration when i was designing and swatching the scarf. check out the woolly headgear of the uncompromising canadian metal heroes and you'll see what i mean.

i love the finished diagonal (and reversible!) look and apparently the dear bro likes it too. for once i totally nailed a custom order!

i decided not to block it to keep it as rustic and unpolished as possible, and to make sure the yarn retains its volume. again it would've smoothened some of the unevenness of the stitches, but i think the rough and bulky look works better here.

it was a super fast knit too, only took two nights with 6mm needles. the yarn is really soft and the chain structure makes for an interesting texture, but for some reason it feels like acrylic to me even though it's supposed to be 80% merino and 20% cashmere. i'm thinking the infamous debbie bliss scam here. surely the germans wouldn't lie..?

the pattern is available if anyone wants it, so leave a comment if you're interested.

otherwise he will come and EAT YOUR BRAIN